Archive | May, 2012

Texas Country Potato Salad

18 May

Texas Country Potato Salad sounds weird together. Am I wrong here? I don’t like saying Texas Country. You are Texas State, don’t try to get out of being associated with us! Or is it “Texas *PAUSE* Country Potato Salad? Anyhow. Do I love the name? No. Do I LOVE THIS POTATO SALAD??? YES. DO I WANT TO MAKE THIS FOR EVERY SUMMERTIME BBQ I HAVE IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS?? YES. AM I OVERLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS? NO BITCH! IT IS THAT GOOD!

What’s that? You wanted me to get more specific? Well okay bossy pants. See this photo? Those are little red potatoes. And those little red potatoes are swimming in a jacuzzi of seasoned water and BACON GREASE. You boil. These potatoes. In bacon grease.

I rest my case.

I LOVE potato salad. Although I must say, it’s kind of a forgotten food for me. I never think about it. I never say to myself, “Man, this dinner is good but it would be complete with…..potato salad.”

But I think I’m gonna start saying that now. My old thoughts of potato salad were that of the ones from fast food places. Perfectly diced potatoes. Plain, slightly watery sauce. This is ohhhh so different. Rustic. Rugged. Flavor country.

Bacon, eggs, red potatoes, green onion, mayo…….wait a minute. Yes okay it’s basically those deviled eggs having sex times with potatoes but hey, that’s a porn I would watch (celebrity sex tapes are always such snoozers) (yes I’ve watched and I know you do too) (leaked pictures too) (blake lively is really pretty) (okay this is getting creepy)


Smooth and creamy with pops of bacon and green onion. Just to die for. My low-carb diet arch nemesis, ladies and gentleman I present to you…

Paula Deen’s Texas Country Potato Salad

Bacon Deviled Eggs

18 May

Very few things please me as much as the egg.

Well, my dogs. My dogs make me happy. Then there’s John of course but whatever, easy answer. BACON makes me endlessly happy, as we all know. Though I am not loving the BACON EVERYTHING hipster train. EXCUSE ME THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE THAT LOVED BACON BEFORE IT WAS COOL. Ew actually that is something a hipster would say isn’t it. Okay I am the hipster and I do not appreciate people loving bacon because loving bacon is “cool”. Loving bacon is a serious thing!! You feel it in your soul. And later, your heart, when it inevitably explodes and shit.

Anyhow, since it’s not socially acceptable to make your dogs into deviled eggs (oh you’re soooo proper, america) I guess bacon deviled eggs are the next best thing.

And I’m not kidding about the “best thing” part. THESE ARE LITTLE EGGY BITES OF SAVORY DELICIOUSNESS. So easy, so quick. Soooo pleasing. Unless you have those TERRIBLE friends that are always like, “ewww I just can doooo mayonnaise it’s sooo bad for you wahhhh it’s sooo gross the texture freaks me outttttt wahhhhh wahhhh klhsdglkhsdlgkdshglkdshglsdkhgsdlkghsdlgkhsdg”. Like get over it. Or not. More for me and you.

Whoa egg pictures are pretty boring.

Random dog photo? That’s better.

Bacon Deviled Eggs 

(From June/July Issue of Fine Cooking)

  • 4 peeled hard-cooked large eggs
  • 3 Tbs. mayo
  • 1/2 tsp. Dijon mustard
  • 1 Tbs. finely chopped flat-leaf parsley
  • 2 slices of bacon, cooked and crumbled
  • Hot sauce, to taste
  • Kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper
  • Paprika for garnish

Slice the eggs in half lengthwise. Remove the yolks, transfer them to a small bowl, and mash them with the back of a spoon. Add the mayonnaise, Dijon mustard,  the parsley and hot sauce. Mash until smooth. Stir in the chopped/cooked bacon and season to taste with salt and pepper. Fill the egg whites (I use a pastry bag because I am so fucking fancy like that). Sprinkle with little pinches of paprika — smoked paprika if you can find it!

Double the recipe and pop the leftovers into your mouth for breakfast all week. Not that I did that. That’s gross.


Mustard Roasted Potatoes

6 May

Sometimes I dunno what else to say other than “shit’s delicious”. It just is. And EASY as pie. Except why do people say that? I find pie impossible. Do they mean pi? Pi is easy I guess if you’re saying just knowing that number is easy but not really if you don’t know where it came from or why it exists. Maybe it’s phi? Maybe people in Phi sororities or fraternities are known to be easy? These are all college experiences I missed. Anyhow. Moving on.

Ina uses mustard in so many dishes that I often find myself making other recipes, from other cookbooks, and saying “this would be more delicious with a hinnnnt of mustard…”.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, will love this. I promise you. Whole-grain mustard, red potatoes, yellow onions, salt, pepper, olive oil and parsley is all you need.

Mustard Roasted Potatoes, here!

MAKE IT TONIGHT. And all week.


Provençal Lamb

6 May

Ooooh baby.

You know shit is serious when it involves an accent underneath a “C”…..which, ahem, is called a “cedilla” by the way. Look at the stuff I teach you! I’m like a one-stop shop for learning if you only care about heavy foods, accents, and how to go off on random tangents of complaints and insecurity. That’s all you need to know in life, right? I agree.

Let us start with the lamb….

Only a few things in this world make me feel like a badass. One is grabbing the tie of an overly-serious-about-his-job club bouncer or security guard and wrapping it around my fist as I pull him closely and whisper “go fuck yourself” in his ear (I’ve done this before). Another is hopping from one up-escalator to the down-escalator next to it in one foul swoop to save a falling old man at the airport and simply walking away like some freakin hero, no big deal, just savin lives here. And another thing that makes me feel like a badass? Holding the entire, butchered leg of something I would not have been able to stop petting if I had seen it alive, frolicking on a pasture, enjoying life…..oh god this is terrible let’s just get to it….

This lamb is a recipe I’ve been eyeballing in Ina Garten’s “How Easy Is That!” cookbook — one of my favorites. The recipes are surefire crowd-pleasers, visually beautiful and just plain delicious. The hardest part is coming to terms with the fact you might not be able to find something like “frozen, miniature white pearl onions” or “young spanish kale” or “medium grain mustard”…like wtf can you throw us a bone here? But it is up to you, my friend, to just say screw it and do the best with what you can find. It always works out 🙂

Let me just say now that if I were to do this again, I’d do it a hundred times better than I did last night. (that’s what he said) (sad face). It was about 2 pounds smaller than the requested lamb-leg weight. But this is something I always like to do — I buy less meat and make the same amount of sauce or marinade, thus making it FLAVOR COUNTRY. I figure no one is ever gonna say, “WHOA CHRISSY. This is TOO MUCH flavor, slow down!!”. And so far it has worked. But for someone not too experienced in roasting entire lamb legs, I shoulda stuck to the recipe, for my cooking times were all sorts of thrown off and I *did not* have a working meat thermometer. I know, I know.

Not my own recipe but I definitely endorse it, so hence it’s presence. As usual, photos first, link at the end!


So, since we are all about honesty here, I completely undercooked this thing. Probably had a lot to do with lack of meat thermometer, but I also figured the cooking time would be less since it was so much smaller. But no…I cooked it that entire time, and a little bit longer. So I carved the thing (the word “carved” being used VERY loosely here, I need to learn how to carve meat) and threw the pieces back into the roasting pan with the sauce and continued to roast until the meat was “as desired”. I love my lamb medium rare but this thing was BaAaAaAA’ing pre-carve.

There is always a way to save something 🙂

It was tender, juicy, saucy, and had suchhhh flavor — flavors that I wasn’t really used to tasting altogether before. Honey, tomatoes, garlic, thyme, MEAAAAAT….

Enjoy, and oh, ask your butcher to tie it up. One less thing for you to do. Concentrate on your wine, my lovelies.

Ina Garten’s Provençal Lamb Recipe



5 May

What hurts? EVERYTHING. Holy crap, I am tired.

I flew 6 times in the past week. 6 flights. 6 times experiencing TSA security. 6 times of airplane bar-boozing, avoiding the dreaded, “Soooooooo do you have a contact number?”. 6 times that I watched people crowd the gate like the airline would only let those most eager on the airplane. 6 times I just had to go to the best (worst) people watching place on the planet. The airport.


But oh my body hurts. Was supposed to go to LA Monday morning, but no. I need to be at home. And so the decision has been made. I STAY HOME AND COOK FOR YOU ALLLLLLL WEEK! I promise. I know. You’ve heard this before but I do appreciate your patience…

As you may or may not know, John has started filming “Duets” in LA. Along with Jennifer Nettles, Kelly Clarkson and Robin Thicke, John is a mentor to young artists and a judge to others. Like “The Voice”, but the artists do duets with their team members. Different theme each week. So proud and happy for him. And those other 3? They are truly great people. I’m just honestly, sickly thrilled that you guys get to see John in a way you’ve never seen before. And I’m slightly jealous that he gets to judge people for a job while I sit here doing it for free.

Anyhow, since I will be in LA more in the next few months, the dogs are out there as well. I’m lonely when in NYC, but that’s probably better for you and this blog 🙂

I have had an awesome surge of subscribers lately, so it kinda…really…sucks that  I haven’t been home to post much. They must think I’m the laziest fuck on earth (while you long-time followers KNOW I am).

So what am I doing here? Just want to link you to the good ol’ days. You know. The one where I used my food blog to actually post recipes. Ha! Remember that!? Aaaah that was cool.

Based on site hits, comments, and searches, here are some of my (and your) favorites!

Apple-Pecan-Blue Cheese Salad with Cherries (I hate salad. I love this salad)

Chipotle Chicken (the fucking best, spiciest, juiciest chicken you’ll ever fucking have)

Mexican Lasagna (delicious, but worst photos ever posted here, and that is saying a lot)

Peach-Whiskey Chicken (it’s the shit. trust me, trust fall style)

Herbed-Baked Eggs (best breakfast to ever enter your mouth unless you love crack)

Boursin and Bacon Stuffed Chicken Breast (I mean.)

Spicy Sesame Noodles with Chicken (crowd PLEASER)

Lemon-Garlic-Bacon Chicken (duh)

Baked Catfish and Eggs (so easy I still feel stupid posting it)

Scalloped Potatoes (dammit carbs I love you)

Thai Beef Salad (aaaah fresh, tart, and delicious)

That should suffice for now! Cooking tonight though. Post up by tomorrow morning. If you like lamb, potatoes and brussels sprouts, I think I have a simple and succccculent little Sunday dinner for you!

Miss you guys.