well yesterday was interesting.

15 Nov

Anyone who knows me, knows I love a good story.

Yesterday was pretty much an accumulation of good stories.

If you follow my twitter, and I’m pretty sure that’s the only reason any of you even know about this blog, you would know what happened to lead up to that photo above.

Still hyped from the excitement of seeing one of my childhood idols (I mean, would YOU tell her to look into my camera?) all day and running around HER OWN HOME,  I came home excited to make dinner for John and his friends. Football on, lots of drinking and friends. My favorite time to cook.

I had chicken thighs marinating in my chipotle marinade for a couple of nights and had sent out the email to my parents for the recipe for their homemade scalloped potatoes, something I grew up eating. My mom would make insanely huge batches and I just remember them getting tastier and tastier throughout the week, as the leftovers were where it’s at. From the second they were in the oven, and every 5 minutes until they were done, I would stick a spoon in and eat the creamy, bacony gravy or use my fingertips to pluck out a chunk of ham. Oniony goodness would fill the house. One of my clearest memories.

So yeah. Decided I had to make this before making it for actual Thanksgiving dinner. Was pretty excited to try out the new mandoline, something I’ve used many times before. Bought one at a grocery store so I probably just underestimated how sharp that little bitch could be. I put john in charge of potatoes as I worked on the gravy, and about 10 seconds in, he cut himself. But being the man that he is, he just ran and got a band-aid as I taunted him. Then bam. I felt the blade go through my thumb and hit the backside of my nail. There was no pain. Only shock. Then the heat set in. I ran around the kitchen doing this weird “oh fuck oh fuck” dance, something that can best be described as me kicking my legs behind me and crouching up and down repeatedly. It was then immediately decided that it was hospital time, as my little finger was shooting blood non-stop like some sort of haunted house shit.

I still have flashbacks of the moment it happened. Afterwards, John’s friend, Hassan, held my hand under running water as his trainer malcolm handed me a tequila shot (bad for bleeding, good for the spirit). I started bawling at the pain, but laughing hysterically as well. I mean I had just sliced off the side of my thumb while taunting my boyfriend for being so careless. I attempted to use the “safety” thing, but deemed it “flimsy”.

The hospital was fun. John drove as I shook my leg up and down in my seat like a crackhead. Kept trying to sneak a peek at the damage but was shrouded with a curtain of blood. The tequila shot made me giddy. Prone to bleeding ridiculous amounts, but giddy nonetheless. What! I’m being honest. Rules, schmules. I was happy.

They decided they couldn’t do stitches, as there was no skin to stitch. But they did clean John’s wound as well. Two for one deal!

If we aren’t two stupid, bloody peas in 2 bloody, stupid pods, then I dunno who is.

Scalloped potatoes recipe coming up. Couldn’t bring myself to include it in the same post. Although hey, you guys know me by now. Totally something I would do.

Be careful out there. Things happen quickly. We are luckiest when we can laugh after.


21 Responses to “well yesterday was interesting.”

  1. Alex November 15, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

    I did the same thing to my thumb last year while slicing apples. 6 stitches later (I split my thumb in half instead of lopping off the tip) and I was good as new. Except for the still-present complete lack of feeling…

    Feel better!

  2. whitey1123 November 15, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

    i totally sliced the side of my hand this summer…and had also deemed the safety guard useless. needless to say, i haven’t touched the mandolin since. lol.

  3. actorsdiet November 15, 2011 at 8:47 pm #

    OUCH! well, my husband once cut his finger making hummus with an immersion blender. your accident sounds a lot “cooler”

  4. w1lly_m0 November 15, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

    The WAKE UP! shirt returns!

  5. Johnny November 15, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

    Apparently, you should stick to guacamole recipes. 🙂

    I’ve done that very thing, also on potatoes no less. I can’t even think about taking my mandoline out of the cupboard without my wife saying “make sure you use the guard!” with a big smile on her face.

  6. On life and stuff November 15, 2011 at 10:18 pm #

    Ouch! Poor you! But you’re right; thank God you can laugh about it… by the way, when I was 8, I was in this summer course where they had us cut potatoes with a cutter –to make stamps. Of course I cut my hand, and still have the scars (I’m 37). But a life is not a life without stories like this one!

  7. catvoncat November 15, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

    One Thanksgiving I stepped out of the shower to the sound of my husband saying, “Um, I cut myself.” He was standing at the sink with a paper towel wrapped around his thumb, and when he removed it, it started spurting blood like a fountain. Yep, he did basically the same thing you did, only with a Wusthof chef’s knife. At the hospital they asked where the chopped-off piece was because they thought they could reattach it. Sadly, he’d tossed it in the kitchen trash can like a dumbass (at least it didn’t end up in the cornbread dressing). So they put some sort of synthetic gel-like “skin” over the gaping wound since there was nothing to stitch. It healed up nicely and now you can’t even tell. Hope yours does likewise!

  8. Barbi Slick November 16, 2011 at 1:36 am #

    You guys ARE like 2 peas in a pod!!! Super cute! Or a I say SUPERCUTE!!!

  9. April Larabee November 16, 2011 at 11:59 am #

    ROFL, not because of the injuries, but because you tell the story so well! I love kitchen nightmare stories…:)

  10. Lyndsy November 16, 2011 at 1:04 pm #

    Yikes, this post is one where I wasn’t sure whether to grimace or laugh so instead did both. Glad your finger is all fixed and hate to say that it seems Karma had a good laugh at your expense last night. At least you looked gorgeous at the hospital!

  11. Monica R. November 16, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    talk about a bitchen story, you paint the perfect picture!!
    LMAO as quite as possible so my coworkers dont hear me!!
    Again, I love your and your blog and of course John he always the plus!!

    Will you run for president?!?!hahaha

  12. windwein November 16, 2011 at 3:38 pm #

    God you are funny. Hope it’s healing up nicely. You need it for the big day next week! (My fave side is dressing, by the way. My German grandma’s recipe only. Toasted bread, celery, onions, butter, chicken broth, poultry seasoning, salt, pepper. That’s it. No new-agey fig, apples, oysters, sausage, cranberries, nuts, or other BS in it!)

    • chrissyteigen November 16, 2011 at 3:46 pm #

      i don’t like stuffing fanciness either 🙂

  13. Amy (Minimally Invasive) November 16, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

    Aaahaha, hope you’re feeling better soon and it doesn’t interfere too much with your Thanksgiving plans! I did the reverse move over the summer — sliced through the nail and stopped at the bone. My husband ran into the kitchen with a box of Band Aids and I scoffed at him (then took a knee because damn, that sort of thing can make you light-headed.)

  14. xoxome11 November 17, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    I have two kitchen fears — yeast (just can’t handle doing so much work and it all relying on the “perfect temperature” of one ingredient to mess up the whole thing) and mandolins, for obvious reasons. But I HAVE to make those damn potatoes, because you are clearly not worthy of being alive if you read that recipe and don’t need to make them. So this weekend I’m going to face down at least one fear.
    Please, no one share any bad yeast experiences — maybe I’ll conquer that one soon — I’m dying to make homemade cinnamon buns one winter morning.

    • chrissyteigen November 17, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

      i have an awesome and easy cinnamon roll recipe that i do for holiday gifts. there is yeast but it’s no fail! unless you are me. i failed the first time because i put the yeast into hot water which literally kills it and stops it from working. it MUST be lukewarm or room temp! xx

  15. Dinner Party Animal November 17, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    I did the “oh fuck oh fuck” dance a month ago, took off the tip of my left index finger while chopping up kale. Next time I’ll make sure to have a shot of tequila ready.

  16. Malin December 27, 2011 at 3:25 pm #

    Loove your blog. U should write a book or something. About food and other random stuff 😉

  17. nicole January 9, 2012 at 5:42 pm #

    i did the same thing with my mandoline slicer, except they did stitch my finger back on. i was cutting onions to do a small stack of crispy rings on top of a steak. after getting stitches, i came right back home and finished cooking. [hey, i was still hungry!] however, now i always fully wrap my hand in a kitchen towel before slicing anything on that death machine. those safety guides are a joke.

  18. low cost seo April 8, 2013 at 9:02 pm #

    I’m confident We have see this exact same form of declaration in other places, it ought to be gaining interest while using public.

  19. Cel November 17, 2017 at 6:13 pm #

    Chrissy… do you still receive these comments? I just wanted to let you know that I was in need of a good laugh and I remembered this mandoline story that I read of yours years ago. I am so sorry, but this story makes me laugh so hard. I’m glad you and John made a full recovery though. Still love you after all these years! Cheers!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: